The newsroom is empty this afternoon. I expect a werewolf and/or ghost of a wolverine to jump out at any moment and devour my face.
It’s so rare that I’m in a deserted newsroom that I don’t really know what to make of it. The constant chatter on the scanner is … entertaining, and takes some of the fear out of every creak and groan this 157 year old building makes, but doesn’t completely take away my irrational fear.
It does, however, quiet the sounds of my overblown emotions. I’m sure it’s hormonal, or the fact that absolutely every single aspect of my life is in complete dis-array AND dat-array. All I know is, I was reading a story about a woman being released from prison, then the U.S. women defeated Brazil on penalty kicks, then I was crying in the bathroom. I had to call my therapist — my sister Natalie — who listened to me whine incessantly for 20 minutes or so.
Back in the newsroom, though alone, it seems inappropriate to weep at my desk unabashedly. I finally just had to turn off espn because every time I see Abby Wambach crying, I bust loose with the tears.
Sure I’m proud of the U.S. women’s soccer team. But are they worth this tantrum? Allowing myself to experience any emotion at all has been unusual lately. I have this tenuous grasp on my world. Too many balls in the air. My sense of humor and reality is tamped down into this “MUST FOCUS ON MOVING” mentality.
I know, poor pitiful me, right? Shucks, I got a great job and have to work hard to get moved to it. WAAAHHH. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. In a few weeks, when live is settled a bit and I’m working in Connecticut, I’ll be much better and hopefully sound more grateful.
It’s just surprising me that I’m so verklempt over soccer — or whatever that was about. I haven’t cried at the things I thought I would — seeing some friends for the last time for a while, driving down 11th Street past my first apartment, packing away everything… I’m such a reminiscing fool, it’s odd for me not to cry about that kind of stuff. Instead, I’m bottling it up and crying about the World Cup.
In front of the newsroom’s ghosts/zombies. I’m sorry, supernaturals. I know you don’t like people showing weakness. Newsroom supernaturals are tough old birds.
People are starting to come into the newsroom now, so I’d better suck it up and quit bawling… I’ve at least got to save face for my last week of work.
The Garish Chicken 
I got misty-eyed at the soccer game, too. I have no excuse though. Guys call it “sports-crying.”
It was beyond the ol’ sports-cry. But that was part of it too. š
Speaking of Supernatural beings, haunting old buildings… I remember when I would go to the TIMES after a School Board or City Council meeting, and I did See an Orb on more than one occasion… Always the same, about softball sized, and He/She would go from the bathroom to Ronda/Sherri’s desk, hover a sec, then go to that back room full of old equipment… Which was NOT scary to Me, and FtG has several “haunted” landmarks, like the McBride House/the Back Family’s old house, the Hospital, the original part of the old Fort, and more specifically and closer to Home, My old house on Pecan Street… The difference with My house is that these were seen by Your Friend/My Cousin Brandy, and as I said, EVERYone Who spent the night in that house had some sorta SuperNatural experience/sighting… Now, You know that Brandy is NOT afraid of things like that, but; this one night, while She was living with Me, She came into My bedroom, where I was the only on awake, as always, She was so scared by what She had just seen that She was crying, and slept in My bed that night, while I was on the computer… I had never and have not since seen My Cousin scared like that… She described a full sized person standing at the opposite side of the hallway that was EVIL, and She described it to Me, sounded scary too… I knew that there were stockades on the land My house was built on, the end of the “Trail of Tears…” So I’m sure that there were also unceremonisially buried Natives buried on that land… I also know there was an orphanage on that same lang, circa 1920s-30s, where they were NOT treated very nicely… EVERYbody that stayed the night in that house on Pecan, had experiences, to varying degrees… Like when Antonio lived with Me, and He was lying on the bed, playing a video game, as I sat at My desktop… He asked, “Do You see that old Woman standing over by the bathroom(half-bath) in Our bedroom” about five minutes later My Kyle O’Grady came into Our room and said He saw an old Woman dressed in a while wedding gown and veil, walk thru My closed and locked door… The same description Antonio had just asked about… NOW, neither of them and probably NObody knew that My Dear GrandMa Brown was a Mormon, and was buried in a white wedding gown complete with veil, so I told them both NOT to be afraid of Her, that She was not an evil Spirit, more likely OUR Guardian Angel… You may remember that I was raised and baptised in a LDS/Mormon Church, until I was 18??? Another thing that I experienced, at Dr. Back’s office was strange… On His wall, there was an old picture of the McBride House after Doc McBride had it built… I looked at that picture like a billion times, while waiting for My appointment, and there were six people on the front porch, BUT on one occasion, I was looking at it and counted seven people, the extra was a Man in 19th century clothing standing on the back porch??? When I told Him, He just rolled His eyes and shrugged it off, so I told His Wife, and explained His clothing and looks; She told Me that was the descption of Dr. McBride, spot on… So, FtG is just chock full O’ Ghosts… Some playful, some Angelic, some demonic, etc… There is NO way that My Son and BF could have made the sighting of My beloved GrandMa, as I had never told anybody Who was not at Her funeral or Members of the LDS Church what garb She was planted in… I am, to this day curious as to Who “took up residence” at the Fort G Times, all I know is that it was indeed inhabited by Spirits… I had a clear view from My desk, down that hallway, and was alone each time… NOW back to You leaving… I’ve probably told You, that I am SO extremely proud of You… You were My Cousin Brandy’s Bestie in school, and You were also My favorite and first Editor, and even though We haven’t seen in each other, I have NOthing but the utmost respect for You; as a Friend/Boss/Teacher, etc… Tulsa’s loss IS MOST DEFINITELY ESPN’s HUGE/Talented Gain!!! I do wish that I could see You before Your departure though… But, My Friend and Mentor, You are destined for bigger and better things… I canNOT wait, until I see You on the floor of STAPLES Center, having to ask Kobe a question, and YES, I do see that happening sooner than later… I am so thankful, for all the things You allowed Me to do at the TIMES, like: putting the Lady Tigers Softball Team on the Front page, which had NEVER been done, before We did it, and liking My idea of the Church page, where I drove around FtG and taking a picture of the most clever Preacher’s sign message… Also, never before You and I did it… Many other things/ideas of Mine that You liked and allowed Me to do… I appreciate that, so much… I do still have My plaque from the OPA, for educationally Reporting… And YES, I kept a copy of every paper during My time at the TIMES!!! NOW, I realize that I more than likely will not get to see You again before Your departure, but when You do get promoted to on air, probably before, I will always say “I knew Her when!!!” You are going to be great in Bristol and beyond, I have NOthing but t-Total Faith and confidence in You…
-Your Friend, Protege’, and FAN!!!
PEACE&LOVE, Always
(“,)Buddy Lee